a suburban-city girl stumbling her way through central PA.



on yoga and baby elephants

i found this entry on my computer last sunday. coincidentally, i wrote on the first day of teacher training and found it on the last day. i think i'll share

Today was the first day of yoga teacher training. I guess I should take some notes on how I’m feeling, what I’m doing, etc so I can assess some sort of process and forward progress. I don’t know if that’s where this is going. I’m not exactly sure what I should be writing about. I don’t know that there are these measurable things... I guess I can start with OM. I really don't think i can om long enough. I feel like I never have enough breath and such to make it as long as everyone else. Do other people have this crazy, neurotic fear of OM, too?

So, anyway, we started out the day with chanting to the Hindu god, Ganesha. I am just guessing that Ganesha is a Hindu god, though it's a pretty good guess. I know he is an elephant, but that is all. I just did a Google image search and it kind of looks like Ganesha might be a girl. There are some images with some curly, curly eyelashes. As you can also see, I don’t know shit about Ganesha. Except that he/she is pretty important, is an elephant, and likes to bash shit down. Ganesha is Wack-A-Mole of life’s obstacles, apparently, which is probably why we opened with chants to him. Starting something new, especially something as committed as a yoga teacher training, is bound to have obstacles within it. So Ganesh, I hope our chanting worked. I hope I can remember your powerful elephant trunk when obstacles pop up.

After opening mantras, we spent a lot of time going through everyone’s name, astrological sign, pets, and their own yoga stories. D told hers, which involved her falling into yoga to avoid getting her perm wet sometime in the 80s and I told mine which included vomitting during a Bikram class. We all have to start somewhere.

There seem to be a lot of dancers or ex-dancers in this class and a lot of people really into that whole Energy Moving, Reiki Healing stuff. I felt a little intimidated, as I guess most everyone did.

After introduction time, A came in to break down Sun Salutations for us. We did a few together, then she turned it around on us and had us break into groups of three and four to teach/watch/do our own Sun Salutations. The other girls in my group all shied away from the teaching/speaking portion first, and normally I would too. I guess because no one else stepped up, in a very unlike me move, I said, “oh alright, I’ll start.”

I’ll tell you right now, it was a god damn mess. I had the girls inhaling their exhales and going from Down Dog to Headstand and it was just all messed up. (I didn’t actually have them go from Down Dog to Headstand, but that’s what it felt like). I must have done hundreds of Sun Salutations in my life. I can do them in my room right now, just to show you. But for the life of me, telling someone else how to do a Sun Salutation was HARD. So hard, in fact, that I thought, “just what the HELL am I doing here right now?” I’m 100% sure all the other girls (or at least, the ones in my group) thought the same thing. At least that was comforting.

We all got to run through giving out the instructions to each other a few times and by the third time, it was much easier to remember “inhale, raise your arms up overhead.” Perhaps some of us are born with the ability to roll perfect Sun Salutations off our tongues. Perhaps the mouth needs to warm itself up, not unlike the rest of our muscles.  Perhaps it takes time for these things to unfold.  Or perhaps, we’re all just baby elephants, blinding trying to get through the first few days without our big, giant trunks getting in the way.


on The Miserables

i have an announcement about The Miserables.

i have been researching my own miserables via a super secret twitter account who's sole purpose on the internets is to track The Miserables AS THEY HAPPEN. i have been able to ascertain that The Miserables always appear in groups. it is unclear whether they send in the strongest of The Miserables first to break you down and make you more susceptible to other Miserables or if they just always attack in large numbers, attempting a rapid-fire technique to see what sticks. i can officially say that The Miserables almost always travel in packs. they are more dangerous than our high tech lab technicians had previously believed. one Miserable and your whole day is off. The Miserables are nothing to mess around with. they will eat your mind, body, and soul. not much is known about how to rid of The Miserables, but i highly suggest you stay away from the Wawa at 10th and Walnut, a known breeding ground for The Miserables. you should probably also stay away from G-Lounge, just to be on the safe side. some believe that the well known home remedy of an entire half-gallon of ice cream will keep The Miserables at bay, while others swear by a full box IV of red Franzia. whatever you do, keep yourselves safe out there. it is almost the weekend and we don't need any miserables mucking shit up, so consider this your official PSA of the day to stay aware of The Miserables.

stay alert.

stay alive.

stay away from The Miserables.


on communities sharing their agriculture

here's a quick pic of our veggie share from our CSA last week. no no, not the Confederate States of America or the Canadien Space Agency or even the California Society of Anesthesiologists, but Community-Supported Agriculture. because we're hippie-dippie over here. and we like to try new things. and eat a lot of lettuce, you'll see. 

i am quite certain that the half-share is enough for me and my roommate, A. i am also quite certain that the insane amount of lettuce is going to continue as today's scheduled pick up includes more lettuce, more kale, and the addition of spinach, cress and garlic scapes (wtf is garlic scapes!?).

did you know that radishes are spicy? bizarre. i am now well aware of why i didn't eat radishes before. thank god we aren't receiving more radishes today.

i had to google-research scallions last week because i didnt really know how to use those and all i found was this:

(taken from the nibble.com)

and this:

for. real. scallions are for making weird vegetable puppets. talk about playing with your food.

and when you google-research scapes, the all-mighty powers that be ask if you mean scabies. uh no, i did not mean scabies. you can google-image that one yourself to figure out the difference. gross. they did not ask if i meant professor snape, which i feel may be a more accurate comparison to scapes. apparently scapes are good friends with the washington post and enjoy being made into pesto sauces. i'll report back, potentially with pictures, maybe with puppets.