i have an announcement about The Miserables.
i have been researching my own miserables via a super secret twitter account who's sole purpose on the internets is to track The Miserables AS THEY HAPPEN. i have been able to ascertain that The Miserables always appear in groups. it is unclear whether they send in the strongest of The Miserables first to break you down and make you more susceptible to other Miserables or if they just always attack in large numbers, attempting a rapid-fire technique to see what sticks. i can officially say that The Miserables almost always travel in packs. they are more dangerous than our high tech lab technicians had previously believed. one Miserable and your whole day is off. The Miserables are nothing to mess around with. they will eat your mind, body, and soul. not much is known about how to rid of The Miserables, but i highly suggest you stay away from the Wawa at 10th and Walnut, a known breeding ground for The Miserables. you should probably also stay away from G-Lounge, just to be on the safe side. some believe that the well known home remedy of an entire half-gallon of ice cream will keep The Miserables at bay, while others swear by a full box IV of red Franzia. whatever you do, keep yourselves safe out there. it is almost the weekend and we don't need any miserables mucking shit up, so consider this your official PSA of the day to stay aware of The Miserables.
stay alert.
stay alive.
stay away from The Miserables.
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