in a rush this morning, i forgot my book.
by the time i got to the train station, everyone else had swiped a Metro, so i reluctantly picked up the very last half-week-old city paper from the stand. (who PAYS for newspapers? not i, said the little red hen). so i blew through the city paper and was finished by the time i got off the train.
when i got back on the train in the afternoon, i was empty handed. so i went for the ipod, but sadly realized that i had forgotten my headphones in this morning's rush. boo, what a stinkin' train ride.
later, on the train, i thought i saw a guy that looked like my friend matt. he looked so much like matt, that i almost called out, "matt!!" but then i stopped myself.
because maybe it was not matt.
but it sure looked like matt.
so i looked at the guy, trying to figure out if the side profile really was matt or not.
eventually he caught me staring.
i quickly looked away.
but then i thought, maybe it IS matt, so i looked back again.
and then he looked up.
we locked eyes. crap! again! i look away!
but i have no book, so i can't divert my eyes to anything but my hands.
not matt! crap!
i stare out the window, and in the reflection, i can see that he's now looking at me.
i turn to look at him and he awkwardly looks away. then back again.
crap! crap! what is this? is this train flirting!? oh lawd, i was just trying to figure out if it was matt or not.
so i can't look out the window, because then i'll catch his reflection.
and i can't look at a book because i dont have a book or a magazine or a newspaper.
and i cant daze off into an glazed ipod haze because i have no ipod.
so i look over to the guy sharing my seat, to his portable dvd player. as i turn to the screen, a woman hops ON TOP of a dude on a massage table and the two of them start going at it like madmen.
WHAT?! ARE YOU WATCHING PORN ON THE TRAIN!?
what is this train! i can't look out the window, i can't look down, i can't look left, i can't look right! oh laaaaaawd.
most stressful train ride ever for a spaz like myself.
and note to self: please remember book tomorrow.
3 comments:
hahhaha! This is when you pull out your blackberry and start checking emails!
CRAP! i forgot to add that my blackjack died of battery loss AS SOON AS i got on the train!
right? i swear, i'm not making this up.
OMG!! I used to see portable DVD porn guy ALL THE TIME. He does this every single day. Seriously. The first time, I thought I must have been confused - but no, it's porn. I can't believe he's still up to his old tricks.
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