Becoming Buddha in 30 Days or Less

 "i think the carebears are supremely enlightened little yogis." -S.

reduce, reuse, but don't even think about recycling

i live in the woods. i get it. but i also get that it is 2011. i can look up the square root of eleventy on the phone in my pocket. what i cannot do is recycle weekly.

yes, that's right. my recycling gets picked up curbside ONCE a MONTH. boo. hiss. but at least the borough gave us GIANT buckets for recycling. the better to jam a months worth of containers into.

but alas, woe is us and we only received three (3) containers. which unfortunately will only take care of my recyclable gas because unlike the rest of the entire milky way universe i have to separate my clear glass from my brown glass from my green glass. is it 1992? what? even the city of philadelphia managed to get its shit together enough to allow commingling of everything. so much for single stream. i have eleventy billion recycle streams here.

also to separate - plastics 1 vs. plastics 2  and aluminum vs tin.

and not recyclable? any other plastic or ANY PLASTIC EVEN 1s AND 2s NOT IN A BOTTLE FORM.

wtf.

things i have to THROW AWAY:
*yogurt containers
*certain plastic juice containers (arizona iced tea jugs and simply lemonade for example)
*microwave plastic food trays (Bee's lunches when i'm not around)
*takeaway plastic food trays (we don't get these a lot, but sometimes)
*plastic lids of any kind
*junk mail

things i have to hoard and then pile into the car and drive over to the recycling center (which is only open for three specific hours during the entire week) to recycle:
*magazines
*cardboard

and unfortunately we're having some trouble with the cardboard because the current format for collecting it is apparently causing "clutter" in our house and giving Bee a hernia. so most of our cardboard ends up in the garbage anyway.

i hate myself so hard every time i throw a yogurt container away. i am not even kidding.  i die a little bit inside every time.

if you search for reviews of the company, there's some fucking crazy lady who bashes everyone who complains about the ridiculousness of recycling only 1 & 2 bottles by bringing up gas prices and telling everyone to get off their high horses and to lower their recycling standards.


get with the times, dville. fucking recycle. and that means everything. no excuse.