Happy Kahnoween!

In light of today being Halloween, plus in delight of architects who lived in Philly, I present to you my 2004 (2003??) Catholic University of America Architecture School Pumpkin Carving Contest Honorably Mentioned pumpkin featuring Louis I. Kahn. 

And yes, I DID use the dirty side of the pumpkin to my advantage.

Enjoy, you nerds.  Happy Halloween.

Clifton Phifer.

.

Ahhh, yes, Cliff Lee - the boogie man of Yankee fan dreams.

"In fact, if you listen close as you nestle in your bed tonight, you can probably hear him shutting someone out right now." New York Sports

Oh, is that because everyone in New York left the game early and was in bed before the game ended?  Is that what that means?

"All night, Section 407 in the upper deck was full of Phillies phans, all swaddled up in red on a chilly night. It looked like the section the team reserved for the players' families and friends. (To tell you how much the Yankees value the opposing team's fans, they put them next to the auxillary press box, as far away from home plate as you can get without actually being in Philadelphia.) In the top of the ninth inning, the section, that section, after an RBI single by Shane Victorino made the score 5-0, began chanting "Yankees Suck! Yankees Suck!" The Stadium crowd, with half the crowd gone and the other half depressed, didn't even respond. For a few seconds, it was all you could hear."

All I have to say is, Dear GOD Philadelphia - you are IN.CRED.IBLE.  Look at those Yankees, thinking that they are smiting you with a godawful nosebleed section.  And look at you responding with all your years of upbrining in the 700 level of the Vet.  You did good, Phillies fans.

And now, Clifton Phifer Lee.  On repeat.

Since We're All Doing It...

Phils.
In 7.
Senor Choochtopher Ruiz, MVP.

If i had any idea how to do a tilde (tilda? CRAP - swirly thing) on this mobile interwebs, i would. you know i would.

i cant even find the side carat, carot? WHATEVER!

good god, i need to fix my computer. i must be the only blogger who can go months without a computer and manage to stay psychologically sound (relatively speaking).

"IT'S DECORATIVE GOURD SEASON, MOTHERFUCKERS"

"Gourds" by oskay

"I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I'm about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it's gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There's a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash."

Colin Nissan, I think love you. I think you might be making fun of me, but I think I love you, regardless. The roommates can tell you, when decor time comes in the apartment, I am a fiend. FIEND. Don't get in my way, I've got BINS of stuff crammed into closets under stairs. Don't ask me how much money I spent at the Christmas Tree Shops this weekend, either. I won't tell you, but just you wait, Spruce Street. It's gonna shine like South Philly at #12 come November 27th.

But back to fall. In years past, I've bought (BOUGHT!!) pine cones from Michael's. The dash of pine coney potpourri smell allows the female in me to permit this silly purchase. But this year, I smartened up and baked (BAKED!!) some pine cones freshly picked from the Jersey pine barrens (thanks, Jersey!!). And made (MADE!!) my own applesauce from scratch. Booyah, suckers. I can make applesauce and arrange some gourds.

Oh, that's right, domesticality. Consider the gauntlet thrown, bitches.

I Want To Kiss It!

A guy I know from high school currently works at UPS. Check out what he's shipping today(!!!):

High Apple Pie In The Sky Hopes

WHOOP, THERE GOES ANOTHER RUBBER TREE PLANT!

AND THE PHILS ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES AND I WON'T HAVE TO SEE ANOTHER BLACK TACO COMMERCIAL ON TBS!!!!!!!!!


Photo from the blog of the amazing Zoe Strauss.

An Open Letter To Television Commercials

Dear TBS,

I have had enough.

I used to LOVE guacamole.

I used to LOVE taco bell (a very long time ago, but still).

I indeed HAVE DirecTv.

I am going to SCREAM and throw a remote control through my own television if I see one more cotdamn commercial involving Hess Avocados, Black Tacos, and Fairy Fucking Fergie one more time.

Can we please get some new commercials up in this joint? I don't care if they are piss poor and shoddily thrown together, but I need new material. I have been dreaming nightmaring about Fergie feeding me tacos filled with guac from an elephant for days on end now. It has to stop. I don't want to see another Black Taco. I dont want to look at a Black Taco slideshow. I dont want photoshopping Black Tacos taking over the world. Too much.

I must inform you all, it's time to hop off the Blacktacobandwagon. Let's just continue on our way to Oregon on foot. It's better this way. Just watch out for those rattlesnake bites.

Less Black Taco.

More Children Dressed Up In Phanatic Costumes In Front Of Child-Eating Tigers (via phillyzoo twitters).

Sincerely,

Me

What's It Worth To You?

"But the cleaner air has come at a cost. Each day since the equipment was switched on in June, the company has dumped tens of thousands of gallons of wastewater containing chemicals from the scrubbing process into the Monongahela River, which provides drinking water to 350,000 people and flows into Pittsburgh, 40 miles to the north."

Dumping chemicals, tens of thousands of chemicals, into the waterways is the wrong solution to the air pollution problem. It's just shifting the problem elsewhere, to some place else, someone else. Water is our most precious resource, people. Will we ever learn?